Activities are a great way to instill the values you are trying to teach your children. In this episode you will learn about three different activities you can do with your children to teach them about honesty.

The first is a game you can play anywhere. The children have to answer each statement true or not true. Ask simple questions
• The sky is pink
• The tree is green
• We see with our eyes
• We smell with our ears
• The milk we drink comes from dogs
• Eggs come from chickens

When they know the difference between true and not true, you can take it a step farther. Tell them that not true is equivalent to a lie.

• Take a piece of candy and eat it. Then say I didn’t eat the candy.
The next activity is after your children understand what is a lie, is to discuss with them the different times people lie and make a list. Here are some examples;

• Cheating on tests
• Cheating in a game
• Lying in sports so you can win
• Exaggerating
• Telling someone they look nice when they really don’t (flattery)
• Not telling the whole truth so that you won’t get in trouble
• Twisting the truth just a little so that it won’t sound so bad
• Lying to protect yourself
• Lying to protect someone else
• Not returning something to someone because you want it.

Now that you have your list, the last activity is to create another game. It is called the Consequence Game. Take an 8 by 11 paper and cut it into fourths.
On the front side of one of the pieces of paper, pick something from your list. For example, not returning something. Then think of a situation you can put on the front of the paper. You find $20 on the ground. You look around and see an old lady going through her purse looking for something. You go up and ask her if she has lost $20.

On the backside of the paper. She was looking for it and is so thankful to you for finding it for her. Because It was all she had till Friday, you walk away with a happy feeling inside.

Another piece of paper write You find $20 on the ground. You look around and see an old lady going through her purse looking for something. You quickly put the money in your pocket and walk away.

On the backside of the paper write. You are so excited you have $20 to buy whatever you want. Laying in bed at night you most likely feel terrible. What if it was the only money that lady had? You probably feel like a worm.

Show your children the tops of the paper and ask them to choose what their actions would be.

Turn it over and talk about the consequences of their actions and how their actions affect others and not just themselves. This is a great learning tool for your children to learn about choices, actions and consequences.

After they have been able to calm down ask your children to think about the situation:
• What happened?
• What was going on?
• What emotions did they feel?

By asking these questions they will gain knowledge to improve their self-control.

Here is an activity you can do with your children to introduce the concepts of self-control.

Play a game like Operation or Jenga. These games take slow careful movements. You can talk about self-control as you are playing them.

What are the consequences of your moves?
How do you feel when you make the buzzer ring or when it falls down?

Self-control is more than keeping your cool when you are angry. It can also be not complaining about a situation or someone or waiting to get something you really want now, or even choosing not to eat that extra cookie.

Aristotle said, “I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.”

The greatest victories we can have in our life is over ourselves. Self-control might be hard, but it is possible. Encourage your children to take control over themselves.

People with high self control don’t react to someone else’s emotions. They are able to think clearly and stay focused under pressure. No one can control the events or the people surrounding them, but they can control their own emotions and actions.

How do you have self-control?

1. By choosing what you think about. What feelings are your thoughts producing? Those feelings will dictate what you do or don’t do, so be careful about what you dwell on.

2. Don’t let your feelings get the best of you. If you know you are feeling upset with someone or you are craving something you know you shouldn’t have, do something to get your mind off the situation; listen to music, exercise, or read. If you find yourself dwelling on those feelings again pick up on the activity again. (It may take several times before you are able to conquer your feelings but you can do it.)

3. Take deep breaths. This can help you calm down if you feel like you are loosing it.

4. Repeat the above over and over again until you know you have self-control. This is where perseverance comes it. It won’t be better the first time you try to have control but like everything else you will be able to control yourself better and faster with practice.

Once you have practiced self-control, you are now able to teach it to your children.

As we have learned about the different types of Multiple intelligences and what children excel in, there are also three different ways children can learn; visual, auditory and Kinesthetic.

VISUAL LEARNERS (cover approximately 65% of the population). This type of learner is best at collecting information with their eyes.  They usually prefer graphics, illustrations and charts. They are able to remember details and ideas in picture form, typically what they’ve seen before.  

AUDITORY LEARNERS (are approximately 30% of the population). This type of learner is best at collecting information with their ears and they usually think out loud.  This includes listening and talking.  Although easily distracted, auditory learners learn by memorizing sound.  For instance, they learn instructions by repeating them over and over again, even in silent form.  They often like background music to block out interrupting noises.

KINESTHETIC LEARNERS (are approximately 5% of the population). This type of learner is best at collecting meaning through touch and movement.  Kinesthetic learners learn through physical interaction; most are young children. In essence, touching is a way of seeing. 

Now that you know what your children’s intelligence is and their learning style, you can help them excel in their gifts and talents.

Picasso said, “My mother said to me, If you become a soldier, you will be a general; If you become a monk you’ll end up as Pope.” Instead I became a painter and wound up as Picasso. 

Picasso’s mother gave him the ability to believe that what ever he did he would become great at it.

You can give your child the same gift.

It is so important to know which area your children excel at so you can help them to develop their skills. By doing this you are helping them to recognize their natural abilities which will enable them to know what career will be good for them. Then when they will be able to choose a job that they will enjoy and energize them so it won’t seem like work. 

The first intelligence for today is musical intelligence.  These children enjoy singing, playing an instrument, and a variety of music. They sometimes use their body to make music.  Jobs they like are; musicians, DJ’s, jingle writer, singers, sound engineer or composer.

Another intelligence, is termed people intelligence. These children makes friends easily, prefer team sports over individual sports. People come to them for help. They like to organize activities, enjoy parties versus staying home and they are comfortable in a crowds. Jobs they excel at are; a counselor, coach, psychologist, talk-show host, business leader, office manager, nurse, police officer, teacher, waitress, travel agent or social worker.

The next one is self intelligence. These children are sometimes classified as shy. They enjoy being by themselves versus a group of people. They write goals, meditate and keep a journal. These children don’t care about what others think because they are strong-willed. They spend time reflecting on their life and are interested in religion or psychology and typically have deep wisdom and/or intuitiveness. The jobs they are interested in are; writers, entrepreneurs, religious worker, psychologist, personal life coach, guidance counselor, personal trainer, artist, detective, or poet.

The last intelligence we will discuss is nature intelligence. These children love doing things that relate to animals and outdoors activities. They enjoy going to parks, hikes and zoos. They care about the environment and like to grow things and they enjoy gardening. The jobs they like are; forest rangers, farmers, rancher, fishing, ecologist, environmentalist, inspectors, volcanologist, veterinarians, marine biologist, zoo keepers, pet trainers and pet babysitters. 

This information is designed to give you just a little bit of information. There are lots of books available that go deeper into each type of intelligence. I suggest you get some of them and learn how to increase your children’s intelligence in the area they have natural abilities in. This way they will be happy and successful in their lives.

Enjoy your children.

There are eight different kinds of intelligences. Schools offer courses in five of them but in reality they only focus on three; word, logic and body. 

We are going to look at each intelligence. It is important to know which intelligence your children excels at so you can help develop their skill in that area. It is important because they will have the ability to be excellent at the job they choose, plus it will energize them while they are working since it won’t seem like work because they will enjoy it.

There is a proverb that says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

I once heard a teaching that train up a child could mean training a child in they way they are bent. The way they naturally do things, the way that works with their natural abilities. If you don’t know what they are, it will be difficult to help them. Observe them and over time you will discover their “bent”.

The four intelligences we are going to look at today are; word, logical, body and visual. 

Children who are high in word intelligence excel in reading, writing, and speaking. They are great writers, spellers, debating and have an ability to learn languages easily. These children will excel in jobs such as; advertising, journalism, attorneys, editors, authors, or politicians.

Children who are high in logical intelligence have the ability to understand numbers, math concepts, finding patterns, and cause and effect in science. The jobs they will like are; scientist, engineer, computer programmer, accountant, technical writer, loan officer, or mortgage broker.

Children who excel in body intelligence are children who are athletes, actors and theater performers. The Jobs they are good at are; athletes, actors, choreographers, magicians, stunt person and surgeons.

This next intelligence you will see in high schools it is visual intelligence. They are the artist in the schools. Good jobs for the visual intelligence are; architects, artists, mechanics, engineers, city planners, fashion designer, animator, illustrator, graphic artist, interior designer, landscape designer, director, photographer, web designer.

Come back next week and we will discuss the other four intelligences.

Enjoy your children.

When you child knows their strengths and weaknesses they will be able to succeed because they can focus on what they love. When anyone focuses on what they enjoy doing they can easily accomplish more because it doesn’t seem like work to them. They are energized by doing it instead of the I’m doing this because I have to.

Everyone has a weakness and that’s ok. If we focus on doing what we are strong at and let others do things we are weak at, we will get much more accomplished.

This is where team work comes in. Not everyone can do everything.

I have two daughters. One is very outgoing, with People Intelligence, the other is shy but, is very intelligent in the written Word.

Over the years they have both wished to be like the other. I have told them both “your sister is able to do some things you can’t and you also can do things that she can’t. You have your own special gifts and talents. That is your strength. That is what makes you unique. Don’t worry if you can’t be like her. You are special and you will succeed in different areas.”

 They finally stopped comparing themselves to each other. I also believe that they won’t compare themselves to other people because they know that they are special and have something to give to this world.

I believe that communicating this to your children is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. For them to acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses, allows them to realize that they are wonderful just the way they are.

In life we are part of a team. It could be your family, friends, work, church, sports, etc.

An Olympic athlete does not get to the Olympics by themselves. They need coaches, family, and/or sponsor if they are going to succeed. Even the most successful business needs a team. No one can do it all by themselves. 

Who is in your children’s team? Do your children know who is rooting for them to be successful?

90% of being an athlete is the ability to see yourself succeeding. That takes some kind of training and believing.

Norman Vincent Peale said, “It takes struggle, a goal and enthusiasm to make a champion.”

Have you told your children that struggles are a part of life? Do they know that they will have struggles and it is ok? I use to think that if I was struggling it meant I did something wrong. I would berate myself because I was a terrible person. If I wasn’t, then all these bad things wouldn’t be happening to me.

If you have that thought process it is hard for you to succeed because you are always second guessing yourself. That thought process formed when I was a child. Because if I was good enough, my dad would have never let my mom take custody of me in the divorce. That underlining thought stopped me from succeeding in life until I dealt with it.

Not all children blame themselves during a divorce. But it can be something else. Children on the playground that have issues themselves cut down your children because it is the only way they can feel good about themselves.

Your children are forming a foundation. I chose a foundation that wasn’t real to anyone but me. I chose it without knowing I did.

Do you know the real foundation that your child is building? Let your children know that you are standing behind them no matter what. They will test you. They might even take you to hell and back, but if you keep believing in them, you will see them reach the goal: A mature successful adult.

Join your children’s team and find other adults that will be there for them. It is good if they have someone else they can talk to before they become teenagers because there will be times they will not want to talk to you. That is ok especially if there are others on your child’s team.

Emotions are powerful.  We usually don’t realize how much they affect our lives and the lives of those around us, but they lie behind every thing we say or do even though most of the time we are not aware of them.

Vincent Van Gogh said, “Let’s not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it.”

Remember the first time you fell in love?  What were your emotions doing?  Did you let things bother you or did you let thing slide?

Now think of your most heart wrenching break up.  What were your emotions doing?  Did you let things bother you or did you let things slide?

Our emotions affect how we see, hear or even do things, most of the time it’s immediately, however sometimes it affects how we see things the next day or a week from the event.  Usually we don’t even realize the power they have had on us.  Sadly we don’t pay attention or give the compassion needed to children whose negative emotions are charting their lives which will affect them in the years to come.

We expect perfection.  Children do have a hard time dealing with divorce or if one of the parents leave.  They internalize things, and say to themselves “if only I had been better.”

Dale Carnegie said, “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.“  Our children are people, and thus, are creatures of emotion.

What can you do next time your child is acting negatively because of emotions?

How can you show your child you love him or her despite what they are feeling?

Take time to enjoy your child.

The term Emotional Intelligence was coined in 1995 by Daniel Goleman who wrote a book titled Emotional Intelligence, Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.

Even though he coined the term, the concept of emotional intelligence has been around for a few years.  Books such as; Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill or How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie talk about the four quadrants of emotional intelligence in each chapter.

There are different versions of what Emotional Intelligence is, but the basic quadrants are:

• Self Awareness
• Social Awareness
• Self Management
• Social Management

The topics covered in each of these areas change slightly.  I like to use the following when helping children grow into successful adults.

Self Awareness is the ability to be able to know your emotions and recognize their impact.

• Self-Confidence – Recognizing how important you are and how you affect the lives of others.
• Self-Assessment – Knowing our strengths and limits.

Social Awareness is the ability to sense, understand, and react to others’ emotions.

• Empathy – Sensing others’ feelings and perspectives.
• Social Responsibility – Anticipating, recognizing and meeting the needs of others in our community.

Self Management is the skills needed to control how we act.

• Self-Control – Keeping disruptive emotions in check
• Integrity – Having a high standard of honesty and ethics
• Problem Solving – Learning how to creatively think out of the box
• Perseverance  – How to keep going in the face of set backs
• Goals – Setting and achieving goals
• Discipline – Learning how to wait for things that really matter
• Responsibility – Taking charge of your life
• Attitude – Believing in yourself and expecting success

Social Management is the ability to inspire, influence, and develop others.

• Leadership – Learning skills that will help you in taking leadership
• Communication – Listening to and creating dialogue
• Conflicts – How to negotiate and resolve disagreements
• Inspiring Others – Using your leadership skills to guide and motivate others
• Building Relationships – Relationships that connect with others on a deeper level
• Teamwork – Working with others towards shared goals 

These are a guideline to help you know what to instill into your children so that they can be successful in life.

Enjoy your children.