Children can learn much through games. It is a fun way to teach children about life without them realizing they are learning while having fun.

Emotional Charades is a game of charades that depicts a wide array of emotions. Start by writing different emotions on pieces of paper cut the paper up and place them in a bowl. Have each person choose a piece of paper with an emotion, then they use their face and body to express that emotion.

This is a great game, because it helps everyone learn how to be more aware of feelings and how to better read people. If a child can look at someone’s body and face and know what they are feeling, that awareness will help them in life. Understanding people is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your child, so play Emotional Charades!

The following is a list of emotions to help you to begin thinking and writing. Choose the ones most appropriate to your child’s age:

Children can lose the ability to empathize with others for several reasons: 

1. If a child cries and if their needs are met, they realize that someone is there for them. This experience over time, gives them the capacity to express empathy to others. If a child’s needs aren’t met, they can become anxious and begin to think only of themselves and may develop undesirable traits. When their emotional needs are unmet, how can they meet someone else’s emotional needs? 

2. Children model what they see. If children observe their parents lack of showing empathy to others, how can they develop the ability to show empathy? By modeling empathic behavior and pointing out situations that call for empathy you can generate empathetic responses in your children. For example, if you are driving down a lonely highway and just passed a car with its hood up and shortly thereafter notice someone walking down the road with a gas can in their hand, what you do tells your child a lot about your attitude regarding empathy. Do you stop and help them or just continue onto your destination without giving any thought to helping?  What will your child remember from your actions?

3. When you do something for someone, tell your children about it and explain to them why you did it and how it made you feel. These are excellent opportunities to ask your child if what you did made a difference.  Ask them “Do you think what I did will be returned to me as an empathetic gesture in the future by someone else?”

4. Children understand what it’s like to be upset, but what about anger, frustration, disappointment, excitement and other emotions? When they experience these emotions, they don’t always have the words to describe their feelings. If parents help children to understand their feelings, the children will be able to understand their emotions as well as others’ emotions. Emotions will be discussed in upcoming Blogs.

The empathy inherent in our children when they are born can either disappear if not nurtured, or if nurtured, can be encouraged to grow. Which do you choose to do for your children?

Psalms 103:13 says, “As the father has compassion on his children so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.” (NIV) The Lord has compassion/empathy/pity on us. If we remember the empathy God has shown us, it will be easier to show empathy to others.

James 1:27 states, “The religion which is holy andfree from evil in the eyes of our God and Father is this: to take care of children who have no fathers and of widows who are in trouble, and to keep oneself untouched by the world.” (Bible in Basic English) 

20% of the population in the United States are divorced and 1/3 of those over the age of 15 are single. Some of those single people have children but have never been married. As a result, we have an obligation to have empathy on them.

Churches have failed the fatherless and widows of today’s world. Children orphaned by divorce are suffering. In the movie “UP” (Disney/Pixar) it shows the need of a child needing male attention. 

Unfortunately our churches are geared towards married couples, thus, a lot of the singles and single parents feel like they don’t belong. If a single person spends time in a married couple’s home they might cause one of the spouses to fall into sin thus being touched by the world.

This mind-set is left over from the mid 19^th century when they use to believe such things as; if you listened to musical instruments you would go to hell, or if you consumed alcoholic beverages that you were a sinner thus you were touched by this world.  Even in today’s modern society, some churches think that contemporary music is “worldly”.

Does your child have a friend from a divorced family? What can you do together to show empathy to that child? If your child doesn’t have a friend from a divorced family, you won’t have to look too far to find one. I also challenge you to help the child’s mother with any emotional support she may need. When she doesn’t know what to do with her child, she typically has no one to talk to, so be there for her. 

Not only will GOD bless you for taking care of His widows and fatherless., but you can become your child’s hero too.

What are we afraid of?

 “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you must look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”   Eleanor Roosevelt

If we are to gain confidence by every experience in which we look fear in the face, we must also confront a question: What are we doing that makes us afraid?

Many times in my life, I have run away from the things I fear. Or I have put it off until it became more painful not to do it than to do it. I know I am not alone in these actions, because I often have heard people speak on this topic.

I have found as a mother of two awesome girls that I don’t want them to go through life the way I have. I want them to break free of the same chains that may have prevented me from being the person I knew I could be. I want them to be all they can be. But how can I make that happen?

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Confidence is gained by the experiences in which we face fear.” Does that mean I must let my children do something they are afraid to do? Must I encourage them to do something that scares them? Will I need to lead by example and do something that I am afraid to do?

The answer to all of the above questions is the same: yes!

Confidence is like the ocean tide: sometimes we have a great amount, similar to high tide.   Sometimes we have very little — low tide. Our lives are no different than the ocean’s currents. We need to realize this and make our children aware of it. Once we have this awareness, life when we don’t have very much confidence becomes more bearable. We experience no guilt or self-condemnation that we are failures. It is just a process of life over which we have no control, like the receding of the water at low tide. But we can take steps needed to move forward into confidence.

What are some steps you can take to build your child’s confidence during the low tides of life?

First, find an activity your child has accomplished. Is it riding a bike, hitting a home run, catching a fly ball, winning a chess game, making an art piece, knowing how to spell,  being good at math, graduating from kindergarten? Everyone is good at something.

Take pictures of your child achieving in that activity and write words of encouragement or quotes around the picture to create a success notebook. This can be taken out and reviewed when confidence is low. Your child can relive the event through the words and pictures. His eyes will see the results of his achievement, his hands can touch the picture and the book. He can read words written about his great achievement. This will impact  several senses and learning abilities, helping his confidence to grow.  

Other ways to record successes include writing your child’s achievements on pieces of paper and connecting the pieces together to form a success chain than can circle a room.

Post your child’s success stories on a bulletin board with so they are visible every day.

These activities bring the child’s successes to the front of his mind. He will see where he has been, increasing his confidence to succeed when faced with fearful challenges in the future.

• Increased knowledge
• Larger vocabulary
• Insights into other lands, cultures, people
• Success in school
• More creativity
• Relaxation
• Mental escape

Are there mental and emotional benefits gained from reading? What about the long term benefits for your relationship with your children? These things are harder to measure but have a lasting impact.

Taking a child in your arms as you read reassures them of your love. Researchers have found orphans that are not held will die. Their emotional need was not met. That need never goes away. Holding or cuddling your child as you read to them meets that emotional need in both of you.

Psychologists that work with traumatized children give them dolls to play with to work out their emotions. If object can be a tool to release emotions, can objects be a tool to teach emotions?

A book is an object when used properly, can transform a child’s life. It is the same principle the psychologist have been using for years. You take an object that has no meaning and you use it to release good emotions.

Publishers who realize this, are starting to offer a study guide to go with their books. The Hidden Swan built a study guide into the book. The parent doesn’t have to do any extra research to see if there is a study guide. Plus The Hidden Swan offers insights any parent can use to teach their children values. And with the study guide as part of the book, you never lose or misplace it.

Next time you sit with your child and read your favorite book, let me know what lesson you would like your child to gain and I will help you come up with questions and insights. Reading is a powerful tool and can help us as parents building strong, healthy minds in our children.

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