After they have been able to calm down ask your children to think about the situation:
• What happened?
• What was going on?
• What emotions did they feel?

By asking these questions they will gain knowledge to improve their self-control.

Here is an activity you can do with your children to introduce the concepts of self-control.

Play a game like Operation or Jenga. These games take slow careful movements. You can talk about self-control as you are playing them.

What are the consequences of your moves?
How do you feel when you make the buzzer ring or when it falls down?

Self-control is more than keeping your cool when you are angry. It can also be not complaining about a situation or someone or waiting to get something you really want now, or even choosing not to eat that extra cookie.

Aristotle said, “I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.”

The greatest victories we can have in our life is over ourselves. Self-control might be hard, but it is possible. Encourage your children to take control over themselves.

It is so important to know which area your children excel at so you can help them to develop their skills. By doing this you are helping them to recognize their natural abilities which will enable them to know what career will be good for them. Then when they will be able to choose a job that they will enjoy and energize them so it won’t seem like work. 

The first intelligence for today is musical intelligence.  These children enjoy singing, playing an instrument, and a variety of music. They sometimes use their body to make music.  Jobs they like are; musicians, DJ’s, jingle writer, singers, sound engineer or composer.

Another intelligence, is termed people intelligence. These children makes friends easily, prefer team sports over individual sports. People come to them for help. They like to organize activities, enjoy parties versus staying home and they are comfortable in a crowds. Jobs they excel at are; a counselor, coach, psychologist, talk-show host, business leader, office manager, nurse, police officer, teacher, waitress, travel agent or social worker.

The next one is self intelligence. These children are sometimes classified as shy. They enjoy being by themselves versus a group of people. They write goals, meditate and keep a journal. These children don’t care about what others think because they are strong-willed. They spend time reflecting on their life and are interested in religion or psychology and typically have deep wisdom and/or intuitiveness. The jobs they are interested in are; writers, entrepreneurs, religious worker, psychologist, personal life coach, guidance counselor, personal trainer, artist, detective, or poet.

The last intelligence we will discuss is nature intelligence. These children love doing things that relate to animals and outdoors activities. They enjoy going to parks, hikes and zoos. They care about the environment and like to grow things and they enjoy gardening. The jobs they like are; forest rangers, farmers, rancher, fishing, ecologist, environmentalist, inspectors, volcanologist, veterinarians, marine biologist, zoo keepers, pet trainers and pet babysitters. 

This information is designed to give you just a little bit of information. There are lots of books available that go deeper into each type of intelligence. I suggest you get some of them and learn how to increase your children’s intelligence in the area they have natural abilities in. This way they will be happy and successful in their lives.

Enjoy your children.

There are eight different kinds of intelligences. Schools offer courses in five of them but in reality they only focus on three; word, logic and body. 

We are going to look at each intelligence. It is important to know which intelligence your children excels at so you can help develop their skill in that area. It is important because they will have the ability to be excellent at the job they choose, plus it will energize them while they are working since it won’t seem like work because they will enjoy it.

There is a proverb that says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

I once heard a teaching that train up a child could mean training a child in they way they are bent. The way they naturally do things, the way that works with their natural abilities. If you don’t know what they are, it will be difficult to help them. Observe them and over time you will discover their “bent”.

The four intelligences we are going to look at today are; word, logical, body and visual. 

Children who are high in word intelligence excel in reading, writing, and speaking. They are great writers, spellers, debating and have an ability to learn languages easily. These children will excel in jobs such as; advertising, journalism, attorneys, editors, authors, or politicians.

Children who are high in logical intelligence have the ability to understand numbers, math concepts, finding patterns, and cause and effect in science. The jobs they will like are; scientist, engineer, computer programmer, accountant, technical writer, loan officer, or mortgage broker.

Children who excel in body intelligence are children who are athletes, actors and theater performers. The Jobs they are good at are; athletes, actors, choreographers, magicians, stunt person and surgeons.

This next intelligence you will see in high schools it is visual intelligence. They are the artist in the schools. Good jobs for the visual intelligence are; architects, artists, mechanics, engineers, city planners, fashion designer, animator, illustrator, graphic artist, interior designer, landscape designer, director, photographer, web designer.

Come back next week and we will discuss the other four intelligences.

Enjoy your children.

When you child knows their strengths and weaknesses they will be able to succeed because they can focus on what they love. When anyone focuses on what they enjoy doing they can easily accomplish more because it doesn’t seem like work to them. They are energized by doing it instead of the I’m doing this because I have to.

Everyone has a weakness and that’s ok. If we focus on doing what we are strong at and let others do things we are weak at, we will get much more accomplished.

This is where team work comes in. Not everyone can do everything.

I have two daughters. One is very outgoing, with People Intelligence, the other is shy but, is very intelligent in the written Word.

Over the years they have both wished to be like the other. I have told them both “your sister is able to do some things you can’t and you also can do things that she can’t. You have your own special gifts and talents. That is your strength. That is what makes you unique. Don’t worry if you can’t be like her. You are special and you will succeed in different areas.”

 They finally stopped comparing themselves to each other. I also believe that they won’t compare themselves to other people because they know that they are special and have something to give to this world.

I believe that communicating this to your children is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. For them to acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses, allows them to realize that they are wonderful just the way they are.

When we have an attitude good or bad it is an expression of what we are feeling inside. That expression is often expressed through our body language and through the looks on our faces. Not only can our attitudes be seen they can be caught. Have you ever  noticed what happens to a group of people when one person with a negative attitude walks up and joins that group? Or what about someone who has a positive attitude walks into the room?

We can not always choose our circumstances but we can choose our attitude which does have an affect on our circumstances. I know this one lady that always has something bad happening to her. It is amazing what happens to her. She brings those negative circumstances into her life by her negative attitude.

How can you help your children deal in a positive way when they live in a constant atmosphere of negative circumstances?

When they are feeling negative about someone or something ask them to tell you five things they appreciate about that person or thing. This helps them change their attitude. Another good time is before they are going to bed or even at the dinner table. Ask them to tell you five things they are grateful for. Then tell them what you are grateful for.

The next way to help improve their attitude is in the morning ask them what they expect to happen that day. I have a friend who does this every day and I am so amazed at what actually does happen for her and her children. That is because she expects good things to happen and she is looking for them. The amazing part is they do happen because she is looking for them to happen.

If you can help instill these two habits into your children you will help them:

• Have a positive attitude
• See circumstances move for their benefit
• Experience miracles happen in their life

Besides loving your children, this is one of the greatest things you can do for them.

Children can learn much through games. It is a fun way to teach children about life without them realizing they are learning while having fun.

Emotional Charades is a game of charades that depicts a wide array of emotions. Start by writing different emotions on pieces of paper cut the paper up and place them in a bowl. Have each person choose a piece of paper with an emotion, then they use their face and body to express that emotion.

This is a great game, because it helps everyone learn how to be more aware of feelings and how to better read people. If a child can look at someone’s body and face and know what they are feeling, that awareness will help them in life. Understanding people is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your child, so play Emotional Charades!

The following is a list of emotions to help you to begin thinking and writing. Choose the ones most appropriate to your child’s age:

Hector is a shy crab that likes to hide in his shell. But, one night while he was sleeping, a flower grew on his shell. To him this was a terrible thing, so he tries everything to get it off, but it just grows and grows making him stand out more and more in the crowd. He is so miserable that he finally talks to the crowd that is following him and tells them to leave him alone. Instead of leaving him alone they start talking to him and he discovers he likes them.

There are two points to discuss with your child while reading this book. 

 What seems like a disaster turned into a blessing.

What Hector thought was the most terrible thing to happen in his life actually turned out to be a blessing. He had spent a long time trying to get rid of the flower. But that flower was a tool that helped him  get out of his shell and make friends.

Think of an incident that happened to you,  which at the time you thought was terrible but turned out to be a blessing. Tell your child about it and what it taught you.

My Experience

My mom moved 560 miles away from my dad after they were divorced. I was only 10 years old and this devastated me. But I learned how to make my home were ever I was. I discovered a love for traveling. I learned how to manage my way through airports which helped me  become confident and I learned independence. I realized that I didn’t need to rely on my parents and could go months without seeing one or the other.

It’s hard to make friends unless you emerge from your shell.

If you stay in a shell and hide you will never be able to make friends. How can you meet someone if you are hiding? It is easier to hide but we are made to have relationships. We will never truly grow unless we make the effort to connect  with others.

Take your child out and have him/her practice connecting with others by talking to adults they don’t know while in your presence. Teach them to give a handshake and to introduce themselves. It will help them get over the fears they have when they approach  another child or someone they don’t know. Remember, “Practice makes perfect”.  

Enjoy your time with your child while they are young. And remember that a great way to “Inspire-Your-Kids” is to read with them.

To see AnnaMarie Talk about this book Click Here

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When your child chooses to make goals, she is choosing to be successful. At first, making goals may appear to be a huge task. But making goals leads to smarter choices. Those choices will lead to smarter actions. These actions will lead to a successful life. There is no way to get around it; goals lead to success.

To explain goals to your child, log on to Yahoo Maps. Type in your address (Point A), then type in an address of a friend who lives in the same town (Point B), and print the map.

As you look at the map, you have several things to discuss with your child.  Is the map clear? Can you see a way to get from point A to point B? Or is it fuzzy? You need to have a clear picture of your goals, or you will never achieve them. It also is helpful if you can picture the end result, just as you can see point B on the map. 

Let’s look at the word MAP as an acronym to help us set our goals:

• Measurable – Can you measure how to get from your house to your friend’s house?
• Accomplishable – Is it something you can accomplish?
• Purposeful – Is going to your friend’s house something you want to do? 

As you help your child to set goals, help your child find the four elements. Goals should be something she can see, measure, accomplish and want to do.  Below are five areas in which most people set goals. Pick one of the areas of focus for a month. Then add a different goal every month.

Areas to focus on for making goals

• Family – Do you need more patience in dealing with a family member?
• School – Do you want to improve performance in a subject?
• Personal – Do you have something to improve in your life?
• Community – Is there someone you can help?
• Spiritual – Is there a scripture to memorize or a trip to take 

Here are examples from each area:

• Family – I will allow my younger brother to play with my friends and me five times this month.
• School – I will study five spelling words every school day.
• Personal – I will practice the piano four times a week for a half hour.
• Community – I will help an older person once a week.
• Spiritual – I will memorize a verse a week.

Are these goals clear? Do they state something your child can accomplish? Are they measurable (five times, four times, once weekly)? Is this something your child wants to do?

 As a parent, you can help your child to achieve her goals. If she has tried to accomplish too much, cut the number down. It is more important to re-evaluate and make a new goal achievable rather than stick to the old impossible goal. Setting goals might seem difficult, but the rewards are worth the effort.

 Last year I decided I needed to be more active in helping her reach her goal. I signed us up for a Writing for Children class at the community college. She would only attend if she did not have to read her writing aloud. The teacher was so gracious and she said that she could read when she was ready.

Isabella was 14. I told her that a bunch of old people would not laugh at her when she shared besides if she wants to be an author at some point people would have to read her writing. After a couple of months, she did read her writing. I was blown away, she was good.

 Our class turned into a support group. In June, we had a writing assignment to take three objects and write anything that came to mind. Twenty minutes later Isabella had the story Finger like Branches. It has taken almost three months before she allowed others to read her writing. Now I am asking for feedback from everyone I know and do not know. I am on a mission to change the picture she has of herself.

Over the last year, I have been building her self-esteem by

• Taking her to writing class
• Encouraging her every week or two about how great she writes
• Now asking others for input because she thinks I have to say she is great because I am her mother.

The last year has been so rewarding. I was blessed to spend time with her every week. I was able to talk to her and encourage her. I did something she wanted to do and I have seen tremendous growth in her life. I would not trade it for a million dollars.

•  Is there a class you can take with your child?
• What words of encouragement can you share with your child?
• Can you enlist the help of others to share their image of your child with them so they can see themselves as they truly are?

What is the one action step you are going to make today? Leave me a note telling me what it is. It will make you more accountable because you will feel like you have to do it.

• Self-esteem is the feelings we have about ourselves.
• Self-image is the picture we have of ourselves in our mind.
• Self-concept is what we think about ourselves.

 The way to improve our success in life is to improve our thoughts, image and feelings.  As adults, we have the power to affect those children’s self-esteem, self-image and self-concept.

 Yesterday morning when I was in bed, I heard a mother screaming at her child, “You split milk all over the place. You f***ing child. What the h*** were you thinking? …. Who gives a f*** if you are sorry”

My heart broke for that child. What kind of self-image do you think he will have? As parents and caregivers, we do make an impact on our children. What kind of an impact do you want to make?

 Oprah Winfrey’s grandmother saw in Oprah talent for talking. She had her reciting scripture at church before she was in kindergarten.

Tiger Wood’s dad saw in him a talent for golf. At age 2 he put him in a tournament for boys 10 and under. Tiger won.

Bill Gates, mother was part of the Lake Side Mother’s Club that raised money to get a computer at his school in 1967. Bill was in the 7^th grade. In the 8th grade, he was paid to be a computer  programmer.

Grandmother, dad or mother we have the power to shape our children’s lives. What will you commit to do today to help your child’s self-esteem, self-image and self-concept improve?